Oh My Gnosh!

Tips for Serving Gourmet Spreads and Cheeses (as a gift or…) at Your Next Party

CHEESE makes a marvelous gift for the people you love. Yes, CHEESE: worthy of all caps—that is, if you present it well and offer pairings that make those already heavenly flavors pop. I love stories from hostesses that are told with a sigh—how guests at the Xmas party nibbled at their cheese plate, and asked, mouths full, if there would be a hostess/guest gift exchange. “Uh…darling? That dreamy little block in your hand with the cheesemonger’s initials engraved right into the rind? THAT was your gift.”

Point of story:  If the cheese isn’t speaking for itself and needs a little help, this Extreme Party Planner has come to your rescue with tips on how to make the perfect cheese plate.

Consider the 4 basic categories of cheese before you shop: Cheese is sold soft, hard, aged and blue; a representative from each category is a nice way to go, and an expert behind the cheese counter will be happy to help you. Personally, I believe the safest bets are cheeses that don’t have a pungent odor (I’m looking at you, Camembert), but do possess those nice sharp, tangy, earthy and/or nutty flavors we all love—that’s why I concentrate on the kind of milk used to make it, i.e. sheep, goat and cow. Go with manchengo (made from sheep’s milk, it’s a favorite tapa in Spain), aged 15 to 24 months cheddar and anything manufactured by Santori—their stuff is the friggin’ bomb.  Familiarize yourself with their logo via this photo:

Take the cheese out at least an hour before the party, unwrap it and let it breathe. The flavors shine through more this way.  Plan on 3 to 4 ounces of cheese bliss per person; this can easily translate into 3 to 6 different types of cheeses—ideal for a small party; one or two cheeses serve a gift basket well—you just have to find yummy accompaniments…like a sweet fig spread, crackers and assorted olives. More on those (olives!) later.     

Don’t worry about a carb overload—no such thing on a cheese platter. Use crackers AND sliced bread:  Be sure to vary up the textures on these--that’s every bit as important as diverse cheeses.  Reserve an extra cheese spreader to plunge into a jarred condiment that works well with a cheese plate, i.e. fig spreads (I’ve linked to a good one), Grey Poupon mustard or pretty pickles—which I published a recipe for in Sunday Best Dishes.

Stock up on Olives—loading a ramekin full of them works out nicely next to your cheeseboard.  Moroccan beldi olives are particularly tasty with any fine cheese—they come in so many pretty colors—from big plum colored purples to small and shriveled marble sizes. Roasted red peppers pair well, especially the ones that have marinated in a spicy vinaigrette, and kalamata olives deliver the perfect punch! Just check out this olive bar photo to get in the mood.

 
Prepare a few descriptive adjectives about each cheese before you serve it—it’s a fun way to put on a few pounds before the party, but hey…we all have to do our homework! Use a separate knife for each cheese and, obviously, group like-smelling cheeses, otherwise (as the song goes) ya gotta keep ‘em separated!

Parting tip about cheese for your next killer risotto: Use cheese rinds in your cooking; it’s perfectly edible and will flavor a rice, casserole or soup like nobody’s business. Parmigiano Reggiano is ideal for this. As far as what drinks are loveliest to wash your cheeses down with, I searched high and low before I was satisfied and found this article, worth pinning to Pinterest: Some exciting drink pairing for cheese.

Enjoy your cheese within 24 hours of unwrapping it, and be sure to refrigerate between uses…I’m off to carve off a little more of that Santori….

Football Season Is Almost Here….Take these Ideas to Your Next Tailgate!

Photo courtesy of Christopher Morgan Photography

With September and October around the bend, it’s time to start planning your NFL football season! Just let the scent of honey maple BBQ and fresh corn on the cob, roasting in its husk beckon you down the street (or out to your own backyard!) for the next great tailgate or block party. A sports fan or not, the beginning of fall is all the motivation you need to plan a party or wax nostalgic.

Who doesn’t remember their high school football games, circling the track and watching the field, cup of hot chocolate in one hand and hotdog in the other?  Now you’re ready for something more sophisticated than those concession stand snacks you grew up with. Relax, I’ve got you covered.    

When a fan and editor at Woman’s World got in touch with me last week, it was to ask for advice on tailgate food. I gave her a mouthful, and took to my blog to share the love. Whether it’s in a parking lot or someone’s backyard, outdoor parties are the perfect excuse to get to know your neighbors better, swap cobbler and nacho recipes, or simply give the kids an excuse to throw water balloons at each other.

Personally, I like to use tailgates as a method of sharing everything I’ve learned in my decades of being a Dolphins fan.  When the current draft picks were toddlers, I was already making a science out of cooler contents. This is a cheat sheet to get you started:

·         Sophisticated, Filling, Ooey Gooey Sandwiches that Pack Up Neat! Braised short ribs covered in melting munster cheese turn out awesome on a Panini grill. While the sandwich is still warm, wrap in Reynolds combo parchment/aluminum foil with the foil on the outside. Stack the sammies on top of each other and place into a thermal container. Serve when the tailgaters get their hungry on. Hero sized subs are a great idea, too! My favorites incorporate cobb or grilled chicken caesar salad, with anchovy laced caesar dressing.  Alternatively, I like to utilize leftovers, like my barbecued salmon hoagie with apple cider slaw. Whatever the filling, take the insides out of a long baguette. Stuff the bread and place the top back on. Wrap tightly in parchment paper. When it's tailgating time, slice the sub into sections (right through the paper) and hand out to your fans.

·         Done with stale boring nuts? Me too! Toast your favorite nuts on a baking sheet. Make it your own by adding your favorite spice, like chili powder. Place the nuts into a bowl and add raisins or dried cranberries. Toss in brown paper lunch sacks; roll over the tops and seal with chip clips. For the party, remove the clips and roll back the tops so that the bags make their own nut bowls.

·         You can't go wrong with friend chicken. Think outside the KFC bucket and prepare your own buttermilk fried chicken before you trek to the game. Place the pieces into a napkin lined basket and make it the star on your tailgating table.

·         Burgers, burgers, burgers. Earn the blue ribbon by stuffing your burgers before you put them on the grill. Stuffers include sautéed veggies like peppers and onions, and melting cheeses like provolone and mozzarella. Don't forget to butter the buns for toasting as you grill the burgers.

·         Sides That’ll Get You Tailgated: My favorite salad sides are purple potato salad, toasted corn and poblano slaw and pasta primavera salad. 

·         Bring a Pinwheel Platter: If you are bringing the dish to the tailgating party make a huge platter of bite size picnic pinwheels. Wrap 10-inch tortilla around your favorite fillings. My favorites are smoked salmon with cream cheese and capers; provolone, roasted turkey and avocado with cornichons, and my Ruben inspiration which is filled with sauerkraut, corn beef, Swiss cheese and Thousand Island dressing – Yumm!

·         Stuffed Cupcakes:  Make your favorite cake batter and bake the cupcakes. When they are cooled uses a squeeze bottle to stuff the insides with your favorite filling, like peanut butter and jelly, chocolate ganache, marshmallow fluff or my favorite – Nutella! Don't have a squeeze bottle – don't worry. Cut the tops from the cupcakes, use a melon baller or spoon to remove some of the insides, and scoop your filling into the cupcake. Top and frost!

It’ll all be so good you won't remember the score ; ). Let’s swap recipes before the season’s done!

SUNDAY BEST Strawberry Granita

Serves 6
Prep Time: 1 hour, plus a minimum of 3 hours to freeze

1 pound fresh strawberries, stems removed and sliced, about 2 cups
3 tablespoons all-natural granulated sugar
½ large lemon juiced, about 2 tablespoons
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar 
1 tablespoon honey or agave nectar, optional
Fresh Mint leaves, for garnish

Place sliced strawberries in a large bowl. Toss the strawberries with the sugar, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar and honey. Honey or agave are optional for extra sweetness. 

Place strawberries in a blender and add ½ cup cold water. Pulse until smooth. If you don’t want seeds, drain the mixture through a cheesecloth.  

Pour strawberry mixture into a 13x9-inch baking dish, cover and freeze approximately 45 minutes until the edges of the granita are just set and the center is soft.

Whisk granita with a fork in order to distribute frozen portions evenly. Cover and return to the freezer for an additional 30 minutes. The edges of granita should be icy, with an overall slushy texture. 

Scrape the ice cyrstals from the side of the pan and return to the freezer for 3 hours or overnight. 
Let granita thaw for about 10 minutes before serving.

You may ring the glass with sugar for a prettier presentation.

Serve granita, using a fork to get it into ramekins or martini glasses, which make for the best presentation. Top with a fresh mint leaf and enjoy! 

Shake the Tree and All the Chutney You Ever Wanted Falls Right in Your Lap

If you live or ever have lived in South Florida, you know that tropically inspired food and the in-season fruits that make it legendary are like living a Jimmy Buffet song—only in hi def!   Right now, mangoes and papayas are dangling—and quite tantalizingly—from the branches; iguanas are watching closely, hoping for some of that fruit to fall.

A summertime walk outside in Ft. Lauderdale may be a steam bath, but it’s also an invitation to shake the tree so that all the fruit you ever wanted falls right in your lap—and that’s just what this girl did… except I went to Publix. I picked up enough red flesh papaya to bow the sides of my hand basket. It was just a quick trip for the supplies necessary to make Ft. Lauderdale Fresh Mango & Papaya Chutney: green-skinned papayas and fat, red mangoes weighing about 4 pounds each, chili peppers, a little local honey, etc…..

When I got the papaya home and chopped it open, the seeds reminded me of caviar; these are great, by the way for grinding and using in place of pepper. Papaya seeds have a wonderful sharp and spicy flavor. For the purposes of this recipe, however, I scraped them out with a spoon and put the papaya chunks into a large stockpot. Then the mangoes—easy to slit just once, then peel with your fingers—went in, a cup of brown sugar, half of a diced red onion, with a minced red and green pepper, honey, curry, red wine vinegar and a splash of fresh squeezed FLORIDA orange juice. I let it boil and then took it down to a simmer for over an hour, sorry about only one thing once I tasted it.

It was very, very good and there was a lot of it, but……

This whole chutney experience had been inspired by a trip to Sur La Table, and I hadn’t come home with any of those cute, vintage looking mason jars to put the chutney in. Sur la Table sells a lot of the Kitchen Must Haves that I talk about in the new book, and thus the field trip since I hadn’t been in a while. Pictured here is a rack of chutneys, salsas, spreads, balsamics, powders, you name it. Being in this place is like opening a wardrobe door into a kind of culinary Narnia, and finding yourself in Ina Garten’s pantry.

Scanning the inventory for potential Christmas gifts (even if it is a bit early), I couldn’t help but want to solve this conundrum for people: what is the difference between chutney and salsa? Because I have to admit that the thick “chutney” I just made was used in part, to mix with a pouch of tuna and scoop up with tortilla chips. It was fabulous, but then again, it was salsa…right?

 
Well, the truth is that while some salsas can actually be cooked, it’s rare to make a salsa on the stove. The chutney/salsa difference lies in the sugar content, too. In order to make chutneys as sweet and sticky as they are, the sugar has to be dissolved via extreme heat into other ingredients, i.e. big ripe pieces of yummy fruit I used today, vinegar and Indian spices. The result is a lot like marmalade: sweet, sticky and thick—and the recipe featured here makes about a quart, enough to pack into clean, sealable jars.

I left Sur La Table without, GASP, buying anything…and maybe those nice looking Mason jars were better left behind this time, since I have big plans for today’s chutney. I am trying to decide if I want to use it on swordfish steaks, take it to picnic with more chips than spoons, or load it into a chicken wrap. Hmm?? Suggestions anyone?

Ft. Lauderdale Fresh Mango & Papaya Chutney

Prep time: about 2 hours

Makes 1 quart of chutney

2 pounds ripe mangoes, peeled, stone removed and diced

2 pounds ripe papaya, peeled with seeds removed and cut into chunks
½ red onion, chopped
2 chilies, one red, and one green, seeds removed and finely chopped
1 cup fresh Florida orange juice
2 teaspoons curry powder
2 cups brown sugar
1 tablespoon honey, preferably local honey
1/2 cup red wine vinegar  
1 tablespoon kosher salt
11/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon lemon juice

Put all of the ingredients, except for the mustard and lemon juice, in a large pot and bring to a boil, about five minutes. 

Once contents in pot are boiling, turn heat to medium for one hour, then simmer for an additional thirty minutes.

Keep on the stovetop for up to 2 hours total, or until the consistency of the chutney resembles marmalade; stir in the Dijon mustard and lemon juice last; mix thoroughly, turn off stove and let cool. Transfer to clean, warm jars and seal or serve immediately. 

 

Eat Like All Your Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight

It’s no accident that my awesome league of recipe testers are now reporting back to me with their thoughts on the “Couch Potato Fan Food” section of my new book. Glancing over the list right now is whetting my appetite for the big game this weekend. The Superbowl XLVII is back in New Orleans this year, with the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers facing off at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. If I could be there in person, it’d be sweet for sure, but it would also severely limit my choices in terms of what I can eat. With my kitchen less than a yard behind me, I can make a touch down with a wide variety of gnosh platters that offer everything from wings to quesadillas. You don’t have to be at work on a cookbook to get inspired—you just have to look around!

It’s a tasty time to web surf right now, because anyone who’s a sports fan and a foodie and loves to write about it, has been publishing mouthwatering collages (compliments of a new social media outlet called Photoshake) that shows you the range of spicy shredded pork, sliders and creamy ranch and blue cheese dipping sauces that’ll make us a little more light hearted about Lipitor commercials between plays.

My point is, is there anything better than combining game watching with gnoshing? I think not.   

The list of nail biting nibbles and crowd pleasers I’ll have on tap are all about spicy sauces, beef and beans, blackened shrimp and hot garlicky wings; it’s fun to think that some of what I’ve served at Superbowl parties in the past are an homage to the kinds of food the players’ hometowns are famous for. Take last year when I made my famous crab cakes. Chances are they’d remind a Baltimore Raven about the famed crab cakes that the historic dive bar, “Swallow at the Hallow” has been serving for over 50 years near Towson State.

Yes sir, where the players come from and where they are meeting up bring in many different flavors—you could say that the Spicy Black Bean and Rice Salad I’m perfecting this month add new meaning to the idea of a San Francisco treat. It’s almost a shame to be sidelined on the living room couch at kick-off this year, because if I had tickets and were watching it live in the Big Easy this season, you better believe I’d be sampling my share of King Cake and Craw Fish. I’d probably be too full to notice one way or another if Beyonce is going to actually sing at half-time or start another Lip-Gate.

Suberbowl Sunday is “The Sunday Best” of all game watching Sundays!

Hopefully, my guests at this year’s Superbowl party will be too happy with my buffet table to notice the half-time entertainment on TV. Let me offer you links to my greatest hits at Superbowl parties of old (my Crab Cakes and Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps) and invite you to post your links and comments about the kinds of foods you'll enjoy this go around. I’m sure whatever you eat, it'll be a real winner! 

Chipotle Spiced Candied Bacon

1 pound bacon
1 cup brown sugar
½ teaspoon dried ground chipotle pepper or chili powder

Preheat the oven to 400°. Mix together the brown sugar and ground chipotle pepper.

Cut the slices from 1 pound of bacon in half (about 4 to 5-inch lengths). Dredge each piece in the brown sugar.

Place onto a rack set into a baking pan with lip. Bake until the bacon is crisp, about 10 to 15 minutes.

Remove to a parchment paper lined pan. Cool to room temperature.

Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Herbed Parmesan Popovers

Servings: 12

Preparation Time: 20 minutes plus baking

4 large eggs

3 cups milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup Parmesan Cheese, finely grated
2 tablespoons fresh chives, chopped
Salt and freshly ground pepper

¼ cup butter, melted (1/2 stick)

Heat the oven to 450 degrees

Place a 12-cup muffin tin into the preheated oven.  (Or use two 6-cup popover pans.)

Place the eggs and milk into a blender.  Pulse to combine. Add the flour.  Pulse to combine. Add the cheese, fresh herbs and season with salt and pepper.  The batter should be the consistency of heavy cream.

Carefully remove the hot muffin tin from the oven. Pour a small amount of butter into the bottom of each cup.  Use a potholder to swirl the pan around to coat.

Pour the batter into the pan, filling each cup ¾ full.

Place the pan back into the oven.  Bake until puffed and golden, about 25 to 30 minutes. Do not open the oven door while the popovers are baking.

 

Flavorful Fava Beans

When my friend, Rose and I hit the farmer’s market this past week, we discovered a vendor with a large basket of fava beans. Also known as broad beans, you see them in the spring usually as a garnish on fresh salads. Most of the shoppers we observed shied away from the large pods. I suspect this is because either they did not know how to get the bean from the pod or they did not know how to cook them. Undaunted, I stuffed my plastic bag with a couple of handfuls of bean pods and off we went.

And then a funny thing happened. After we got the beans home, and I offer to give them a try, Rose finds a link to a grilled fava bean post on the Food 52 website. http://food52.com/recipes/18008_ignacio_mattoss_grilled_favas

You know what comes next – a fava bean showdown! Rose followed the grilled recipe and I made them for a fresh salad.

First, you slice a slit down the seam of the pod and pry it open with your fingers. 

Remove the beans from the pods and plunge them into boiling salted water for about 3 minutes. 

The outer shells will open to reveal the bright green fava bean inside. 

Remove the outer shell and the beans are ready to use in a colorful salad like this one!

Although you might think that the fava bean is similar to a lima bean, you will be surprised to taste the clean, crisp flavor. Use the beans in a fresh salad or sauté them quickly to add as a garnish for any dish. I say garnish because you need about a pound of fava bean pods to produce about 1/3 cup of fava beans!

Rose’s grilled beans uses a flavorful marinade to season the entire pod. Grill the pods and return them to the bowl with the marinade. Add chopped anchovies and toss to create an entirely edible fava bean pod with the tender beans a surprise inside.

Let me know how you like your fava beans – grilled or blanched!

Notes from a Blue Ridge Locavore

http://www.christopherjmorgan.com/

Hi Friends! I am delighted to be back in the North Carolina Mountains for the summer.  After unpacking my bags, I made a run for the best farmer’s market in Boone, NC. They’ve got legendary vendors, offering everything from radishes the size of billiard balls to homemade strawberry-chocolate jam. I’ve included links to these locavores!” Gotta love that tongue twister! If Peter picked a peck of pickled peppers from the Watauga Farmers Market, they’d be lovingly canned into something you couldn’t get enough of—like Fire from the Mountain.   

Returning to this farmer’s market on Saturdays means I get to decorate my supper table with the region’s best. This is a recent display.

You’re looking at Soft Shell Crabs served on a bed of yummy collards, olive oil-poached salmon, slow roasted over herbs and cherry tomatoes, and an arranged grilled vegetable salad that featured eggplant, peppers, onions and locally grown tomatoes. Dessert was triple chocolate bread pudding, of course.

That same week, shopping locally meant dining on an herb rubbed organic chicken, raised humanely not 100 miles from home. I borrowed the recipe for Foolproof Rotisserie Chicken from the New Life Farm Stand and slow roasted it—the chicken really merits its very own blog entry and I promise you I’ll get to it soon. I simply wanted you to have this super easy, DEEPLY satisfying recipe on file for those lazy summer weekends ahead.  

What’s on the table tonight—in this insane locavore tour of Boone—is the Fresh Catch!

The purveyor was Carolina Beach Mobile Seafood. I couldn’t believe their selection. I mean talk about fresh! Some of them were still moving among an array of catfish, grouper and shrimp. The fish monger on duty offered me a sheet of paper as she was packaging up my treasure. I looked down and read the instructions on how to clean the crab.

“What? You don’t clean the crabs?” I asked a little nervously.

“No, Maam.”
Well OK then. Off I went.  

Dealing with my awesome haul of seafood later that night, I found that cleaning the first crab was a little scary, but by crab number six I was an old pro. I sautéed them in butter and olive oil and made a pan sauce with lemon, garlic and wine. I can’t begin to describe how good it was so I won’t even try.

But what I will do is describe the local food scene—you’ll need to know it, if you ever come to call. Among my favorites are Lulu’s Sweet and Savory—bread puddings to die for. I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed, but I cleaned up with Lulu. It was only my first trip out, and already I’ve bought enough decadent bread puddings to fill one whole shelf of my freezer. I cannot wait to dig into one particular concoction that I bought there, featuring mushroom, rosemary and goat cheese.

Then there’s Cheryl Piraccie, offering samples of her home made jams. Check out the photo of this pair of Bella Rooster sweetness.

I’ve learned I cannot abide this life without her Chocolate-Strawberry Jam. Cheryl modestly compares it to Nutella, but Nutella has never tasted like this! I thought I’d hit the ceiling of euphoric foodie highs and then…well…I saw the roadside spring greens. There were bright collards and kale, dewy lettuce mixes and crisp garlic scapes. What more can I say? I see a lot of salads and sautéed greens in my family’s future.

My summer experience has begun and my taste buds are already on high alert. If you can’t get to the mountains of North Carolina, check out the websites of the farmers’ market vendors near you. Some of them ship! Share your farmers’ market finds and fresh recipes with the readers here. Post a comment or send along your thoughts to Jorj@Jorj.com. More to come!!

I Had a Midsummer Night’s Dream…

About Revisiting my Favorite Recipes for the Perfect Summer Solstice Party

The days are getting longer and home improvement shops are rolling out the outdoor pavilion sets. You know the ones—they have dreamy names like “Garden Oasis Gazebo”. Admit it! It’s fun to check out the plush cushions on the wicker patio stuff, and peek into hibachis where fake corn and steak adorn the grill. I like to picture a summer get together with guests roaming my backyard in cottony dresses, kids capturing lighting bugs, and happy campers of all ages queuing up at my buffet.

Though Memorial Day weekend is right around the corner, I can think of an even better date, further out, for a grand summer party: the summer solstice, on June 20th. It’s the longest day of the year, and appeals to Extreme Party Planners the world over. As I planned my party, I focused my eyes (and taste buds) on Scandinavia, plenty inspired to sit down and create my own summer solstice party on Pinterest.

Did I Pique Your Pinterest?

You’ll see when you visit my newest pinboard, that I’ve given myself over to the idea of seafood. The Scandinavians got it right. Picture it: salmon, lobster, lightly roasted vegetables—loads of starchy, wonderful potatoes coated in enough fresh dill, you’d swear it was lawn clippings and not just an abundance of herbs on the table. It would have been good to be a Viking! Roasted Fingerling Potatoes Topped with Smoked Salmon and Dill were the first appy to pop into my head. Please let me know if they land somewhere in your summer buffet.    

Summer Solstice Menu; All Oldies But Goodies!

For the entrée. How about making LOBSTER the Maine Event? Click the punny link to read my personal experiences signing a FedEx receipt for still alive, still squirming crustaceans. I know that lobster is a tall order in the present economy—so if you want to save, or just spare your guests from those small hammers and bibs, this is your next best thing: the Barbecued salmon hoagie. You’re going to fall in love with it the minute you see it—and it absolutely must be served with Chili roasted corn on the cob with lime cream. Serve Rosemary Baked Potatoes as one side, and Six veggie slaw with tarragon as the other; it’s the crisp, cool counterpart to what’s hot.

Dessert has to be light, creamy (a difficult juxtaposition in food, I know) and make you hum along to Billy Ocean’s Caribbean Queen. I’ve gotten compliments on my trifles, and the Tropical trifle is among the best in my trifling repertoire.

Simple Moonrise Parties in Lieu of the Bigger Bashes

I wouldn’t worry too much about dessert if the drinks offered at your party are cool in every sense of the word. I’m serving  Bourbon minted tea, which brings me round to describing what one of my readers shared with me recently. She serves this beverage during her moon rise parties—small gatherings that involve she and her husband, a few friends and a toast in the hour or two before dusk, when the moon looks like a bouncy bluish ball in the sky. I like to picture this friend in a white deck chair, glass in hand, enjoying the remains of the day. Please bookmark these published Moon rise times for the summer months ahead.

Enjoy them all! Summertime is a celebration of new beginnings and vitality!  Walk barefoot through the grass, my friends!      

Game Day Food!

What do you get when you cross 1 ½ pounds of lump crab meat with other fresh ingredients that taste incredible with a glass of beer? Great food for the Big Game, that’s what. Sautéed Crab Cakes with Three Sauces are just the thing when you have an excited crowd—that’s why they’re also perfect for the New Year countdown. That’s me in the photo with a tray of ‘em in honor of the 2012 ball drop. Pair these puppies with anything effervescent (like your favorite IPA or glass of champagne) and you have the freshest of appys that make that bag of Cheetos look…well…sad! While it might be argued that ripping into those chips is so much easier, I gotta tell you that there’s nothing to get crabby about making my appetizer: these crab cakes are beyond easy! You can form the patties before Kick-off and sauté them in plenty of time for a half-time treat. The secret is to gently mix and form the cakes, taking care to chill them before they go into the frying pan.

It’s Just Mayonnaise

Here’s what you foodies will like about these crab cakes and accompanying sauces: they encourage you to experiment with toppers, not in the least bit reserved for melt-in-your mouth crab cakes. Once you taste my Remoulade and lemon aioli, you’ll want to top your burgers and grilled chicken sandwiches with them too. I remember, back in my uninitiated days as a cook and caterer (I won’t say when, just that it was a very long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away), I was amazed to learn that there is absolutely nothing intimidating about aioli. It’s just mayonnaise, folks. What’s funny is how tarred and feathered the Iron Chefs are if they dare “bring out the Hellman’s”. Uh-uh. You have to whip up your own! Then again when my friend and fellow home chefs discover how easy it is to make their own mayo..ahem…”aioli” they may never stand before a shelf of 50 different types of jarred mayo at the grocery store again. The same goes for the ease of making your own tartar sauce—all you need is a food processor.

A Word on Remoulade

Knowing how to prepare this sauce will make you feel like a graduate of Child’s Art of French Cooking. It’s a perfect storm, really—kind of like mayonnaise and tartar got married. Adding pickles or dill is what gives it its distinctness. Just like the other 2 sauces I’ve talked about today, it’s a great condiment to go with Buffalo wings while you’re rooting for your favorite team.

The Stuff the EXTREME PARTY PLANNER’s Crab Cakes Are Made Of!

When you go crab meat shopping, here’s what to look for… if you want to be EXTREME about it and pull out all the stops. I know it’s a bit of a splurge, but the description of blue crab meat by the pound will start to burn a hole in the most reluctant of pockets. Yes, my friend, blue jumbo crab meat, taken from the hind leg, produces the largest chunks you can get from this divine brand of seafood. It may set you back 2 crisp $20s per pound, but it’ll get the fans crowding around your TV set and establish your reputation as the ultimate sports host. And the guy who served that bowl of Cheetos?? Well, he’s been reduced to a photo pinned to your next game of darts!

Chow down, Football fans!

Cheddar Scones

2 cups self-rising flour
½ cup butter, chilled and diced (1 stick)
1/4 cup extra sharp cheddar cheese, grated
Zest of ½ medium orange (about 1 tablespoons)
1/3 cup buttermilk

1 large egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
1. Place the flour and the butter into the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until the mixture resembles course crumbs.
2. Add the cheese and orange zest and pulse just to combine.
3. Pour just enough of the buttermilk through the feed tube so that a dough forms around the blade.
4. Remove the dough to a floured board and knead lightly.
5. Roll out the dough. Use a biscuit cutter dipped in flour to cut out scones. (Or roll the dough into a thick circle and cut into triangular, pie-shaped pieces).
6. Place the scones on a Silpat lined baking sheet.
7. Brush the tops with beaten egg.
8. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes depending on size. The scones should be golden brown on the top.
9. Cool on a wire rack.

Yield 10 to 12 scones
Preparation Time: 10 minutes plus baking

Mini Welsh Rarebit with Roasted Pepper Chutney

Yields: 12 appys
Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time: 30 minutes for chutney, 4 to 6 minutes for appys

4 large red bell peppers
2 orange Anaheim peppers (or 4 medium jalapeno peppers)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large red onion, thinly sliced, about 1 cup
1 teaspoon coarse salt
½ teaspoon coarsely ground pepper
½ cup brown sugar
1 cinnamon stick
3 fresh bay leaves
1 tablespoon grainy mustard
¼ teaspoon paprika
1 cup homemade chicken broth, or prepared low sodium chicken broth
2 ounces sharp white cheddar cheese, grated, about ½ cup
½ cup sour cream
12 slices whole grain bread (party bread size)
¼ cup mayonnaise

Prepare the chutney by roasting the peppers. Heat an outdoor grill or grill pan on high heat.

Place the whole peppers onto the grill. Char the skin on all sides until black and blistered. This will take about 20 minutes for the large peppers, less for the smaller ones. Transfer the peppers to a bowl, cover and steam for 15 minutes. Pull off the charred skin. Remove the stem and core. Use a knife to scrape away the seeds, heeding the cautionary advice below. Chop the peppers. CAUTION: If you are sensitive to hot peppers, wear gloves for this task. Remember to wash your hands and work surface after working with the seeds and do not touch your eyes.

While you are roasting the peppers, you can prepare the onions. Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and cook until softened, about 15 minutes. Add the chopped peppers, brown sugar, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, mustard, paprika and chicken stock. Simmer until the chutney becomes thick and syrupy, about 30 minutes. Remove the cinnamon stick and bay leaves and season with salt and pepper if necessary.

Preheat the oven on the broil setting. Stir the cheese, sour cream and mayonnaise together in a bowl. Layout the bread slices on a baking sheet coated with vegetable oil spray. Spread a thin layer of chutney onto each slice. Spread a heaping spoon full of cheese topping over the chutney. Broil until the topping is browned and bubbling, about 4 to 6 minutes.

Bacon Cheddar Bites

½ pound bacon, cooked, drained and crumbled
2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
15 pitted black olives
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
½ medium onion
2 tablespoons prepared mustard
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
½ cup butter (1 stick), room temperature
1 loaf party rye rounds

In the bowl of a food processor place the cooked bacon, cheese, olives, parsley, onion, ustard and mayo. Pulse to combine.

Lightly butter both sides of each bread slice.

Spread a spoonful of the bacon cheese mixture on top of each slice of bread. Freeze for at least 15 minutes.

Place the Cheddar bites between sheets of plastic wrap in an airtight container and freeze until needed.

Place the bites on a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until brown and bubbling.

English Crabbies

1 (7-ounce) jar processed cheddar cheese spread
½ cup butter
¼ cup mayonnaise, room temperature
12 ounces imitation crab
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 loaf party pumpernickel bread

In the bowl of a food processor place the cheese spread, butter, mayonnaise, chopped crab, salt and garlic powder. Pulse to combine.

Spread a spoonful of the crab mixture onto each pumpernickel slice. Place each one on a baking sheet freeze for at least 15 minutes.

Place the crabbies between sheets of plastic wrap in an airtight container and freeze until needed.

Place the crabbies on a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until brown and bubbling.

A Summer Tiki Party

Where the Birds Sing and the Flowers Bloom

Welcome to a tropical hideaway, you lucky people, you…or so the Enchanted Tiki Room song went, when it was written for Disney World in 1963. In Mad Men, (if you’ve never heard of the AMC television series, come out of your cave) Don Draper would definitely approve of the ambience found in a tiki room; a party with the kind of atmosphere where “Skirts” and fedoras drift by, the booze flows freely and kool kats enjoy a little intoxicating food and drink, their smokes, and music that gives Elvis’ Blue Hawaii a run for its money. To recreate such a scene, I’m recreating the Polynesian PuPu Platter and serving up my Hurricane Brew in hollow coconut shells—what a way to cool off this summer!

Tiki Time Event Menu

Purveyors of tiki culture were the proprietors of Don the Beachcomber restaurant and Trader Vic’s; both were, in the 1930s, young men who had sailed throughout the South Pacific and loved exotic rum punches, rattan furinture, tropical flowers and tiki torches—it was a way of dining and entertaining that peaked in the 50s and 60s, vanished in the 70s and has come back for an encore now. In homage, her’es my PuPu platter, defined as a tray of Chinese American/Hawaiian assorted small meats and seafood appetizers: think egg rolls, chicken wings, savory skewers and other temptables for kool kats.

Get out your best monkeywood platter and load it up with all or some of the following:

Grilled Rum Marinated Flank Steak Sandwiches with Chipotle Lime Aioli
Barbecued Pork Tenderloin Skewers with Cranberry, Corn and Avocado Relish
Buffalo chicken lettuce wraps
Mustard Coated Chicken Skewers with Grilled Veggie Salsa
Fried Calamari with Tuna Caper Dipping Sauce
Tropical Trifle for Dessert
Signature Drink: Hurricane Brew

I can’t say enough about these tiki-rific choices. Make sure you have a jar of Maraschino cherries standing by to garnish the plate in true PuPu platter style. For the flank steak sandwiches, your everyday sammy gets a makeover with a big burst of flavor, and the chicken skewers offer an update on fast food chicken fingers that’s easy to prepare. Fried is a distinguishing factor to any PuPu platter, which is why I added the calamari, but with a dipping sauce that cuts through that salty, deep fried heaviness.

As Seen on Mad Men…Drink It, Wear it or Use it at Your Tiki Party!
And now to introduce my signature drink for the big event. My Hurricane Brew is best whipped up in a pitcher, then authenticated by pouring the concoction into hollowed pineapples. You’ll need a few tools to serve the Brews this way; first a pineapple slicer, which removes the core and gives you a neat stack of pineapple rings—and drinking glass!!—in seconds. This is a cocktail that will have you looking all over for those little paper umbrellas; it calls for rum both light and dark, grenadine, fresh citrus juices and plenty of granulated sugar. If you don’t want to trouble yourself with real pineapple glasses, check out the Tiki drinking glasses I found shopping online; you’ve probably seen this same set with lipstick stains on the rim in Mad Men. Oh, and speaking (again!) of that series, did you know Banana Republic is coming out with its own Mad Men clothing line in August 2011? That’s this summer! View the whole Retro clothes collection by clicking the link.

Here’s a hyperlink shortlist of other tiki bar supplies I found for cheap…real cheap…on Amazon:

Paper Cocktail Parasols - Pack of 144
Pineapple slicer
tiki luau drinking straws

And while you may love behaving like "Mad Men" at your tiki party this summer, don’t expect to see the show again until 2012…how many great parties will you have before then!

Happy Mai Tai Sipping, Everyone!

Nibbles For Nods

Root For Oscar Nominated Stars While Dining On Primo Appetizers!

The 83rd Oscar Awards Ceremony is February 27th this year, same bat time, same bat channel as usual: ABC at 5pm Pacific and 8pm Eastern. It’s a great occasion to invite your best buds over for food & drink that look as cinematic as all the things you’ve seen on the silver screen together in 2010. Go ahead and treat my blog like a word puzzle, and see if you can find all the references to films and actors given Oscar nods this go around.

Get the Dipping Bowls in Your Living Room Ready!

Since fish dishes are the very definition of the word easy—in fact, they NEVER take over 127 Hours to make—seafood dishes like Tuna Tatare, diver scallops and crab cakes are part of my new Nana Network crusade to stop patronizing fast food joints as much…unless of course, there are Toy Story 3 items inside the kids’ meals! On Oscar Night, serve your guests Sautéed Crab Cakes with Three Sauces. This delicate appy features three very distinct sauces—their secret to perfection? Make sure you gently mix and form the crab cakes, thoroughly chilling them before sautéing.

Make Sure “The Kids Are Alright” With These Hot and Spicy Nibbles

Chipotle Spiced Cocktail Meatballs Simmered in Tomato Sauce and Served with Cilantro Cream owe that incredible taste many of us have a hard time identifying, to plain ol’ sugar—just a spoonful of sugar in the tomato sauce and the rich cream reduction, smoothes out this dish’s flavor, making it one your pals will come back for again and again! Who among us doesn’t love a meatball that’s soaked in spicy hot smoked peppers? Do me a favor! Post your guests’ reception of this appy to my Facebook page—your social network will love it, wink, wink!

When It Comes Time to Toast the Winners, These Cocktails are Worthy of The King’s Speech!
I’ve posted them before and I’ll post them again: Oyster Shooters are amazing for social gatherings like these. Shifting gears into coffee clatch territory, I think your Oscar Night friends would also approve of Mexican coffee—when it’s spiked with the tequila you’ve been saving, Mexican coffee is especially warm and welcoming—plus, who doesn’t love an excuse to pull out the cinnamon sticks and whipped cream? It’s a dessert and beverage all in one!

A Black Swan/White Swan Color Scheme in Your Decadent Oscar Night Dessert Offering

I’m making Chocolate & Marble Cake in homage to the movie most likely to score best picture, The Black Swan. In this movie, best actress hopeful Natalie Portman must perform in a ballet, not just as The White Swan, but as the Black one too—you can guess which one’s more decadent; however, in this tasty cake that goes great with Mexican coffee, it’s all sinfully delicious!

Even if all you do is rip open a bag of chips and gulp a couple of beers on Oscar Night, I hope you enjoy the fun—and if you should find yourself more in the mood for a formal affair than a nibble here and a nip there, contact me for recipes, catalogued in my Diary of an Extreme Party Planner project, where the ultimate Oscar Night menu will blow your black tie and tails off!

And the Oscar goes to…???